Back to Basics
by Sandileina
Summary: Yukimura and Niou discuss the shrew population. Sanada is traumatised yet again. CRACK!


**Disclaimer: **Here's a random fact: No-one knows why chihuahuas are so annoying. They just are. Here's another random fact: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. :)

**Rating: **G, for once!

**Warnings: **Complete, unashamed crack

**Summary: **Yukimura and Niou discuss the shrew population. Sanada is traumatised yet again.

**Author's notes:** Another Rikkai Drabblething. **You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. **The drabblething list goes:

**Times of Stress**

**Passing the Time**

**How to ask out Marui Bunta**

**Four Days Later**

**October Ice**

**Because I Love You**

**Evil**

**Further Nonsense**

**Dear Diary**

**Kind of… the same**

**100 Word Challenges**

**Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma**

**Doctor, doctor!**

**The Woes of Solomon Grundy**

**I'm Not Going**

**The Little Things**

**I Had To**

**He WHAT?!**

**Operation: Christmas Party**

**Being Fukubuchou**

**Once Upon a Time**

**My Brother Bunta**

**Dear Diary: Living with Niou-senpai**

**A Morning at the Pool**

**This is Love**

**SFRR**

**And So It Begins**

**Most Unexpected**

**This Is March 5th**

**No Small Wonder**

**The Last Day Of A Stage in Life**

**Back to Basics**

I wonder if anyone can guess why this Drabblething is titled as it is? n.n I _would_ let you request a Drabblething if you get it right, but… I've got stuff to do, and I've already got the next few Drabblethings planned out… so, you'll just get a special mention in my AN. n.n;; LOL not the most glamorous prize, but… -grins sheepishly-

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"So what do _you_ think of the shrew population?"

"Well," Yukimura said with a straight face, "I think the current shrew populace is undergoing heavy losses due to Excess Cat Syndrome, caused by felines that are appearing from the nether dimensions in a bid to overthrow the evil overlord and end his reign of tyranny and suffering."

"Of course. But the real question is; what do you think should be done about it?"

"That's a very good question, Niou-san. I believe that we should unleash a force of specially trained 'Feline Fighters' that will work primarily to rescue the declining population of shrews, yet at the same time will aid the cats in their bid for democratic freedom."

"Interesting thoughts, Yukimura-san. However, have you considered the possibility that this could fuel an all-out war?"

"I think you're wrong there. Shrews are, of course, known for their strong diplomatic tendencies in a crisis, and I think that if we enlist their help in helping themselves, a war could be avoided with ease."

"Hm. But what if the shrews are too afraid to initiate diplomatic relations with the cats and these hypothetical 'Feline Fighters'?"

"Then I suppose we would have to show them, very politely, the new plans for the modern-day mousetrap."

"A very militaristic point of view, General Yukimura."

"Well, the Japanese Prime Minister did appoint me specially for this kind of situation."

"What, fighting to save the shrew population?"

"Well, not shrews primarily. We try to divide our time equally between all small rodents. Only last week we managed to end a threatening uprise from the Dwarf Rabbits."

"I saw that in the paper, yes. May I congratulate you and your men on that fine achievement."

"Thank you."

"However, shrews aren't actually rodents."

"… Hmm. They aren't?"

"No. They belong to the mammal family Soricidae, and differ from rodents in several aspects."

"Oh. Well, I was not informed of this when I was appointed to do the job, but my predecessor did, come to think of it, have a shrew wife, which may explain his campaign to help their kind."

"I see. I suppose that it's not common knowledge that shrews are not in fact rodents."

"Precisely. I shall take it up with my superiors as soon as I get home."

"I hope you won't stop your noble efforts for shrewkind purely because of this fact?"

"Of course not. The entire Japanese economy could topple if we did that. Shrews are a very important factor in our economy, you know."

"Really?"

"Oh yes."

Sanada finally found the brainpower to make coherent sounds come out of his mouth. "What in _god's_ name are you two _talking_ about?!"

Yukimura and Niou finally burst out laughing.

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Sandy: What are _your_ thoughts on the shrew population? xDDD

If you were as confused as poor, frightened Sanada, then it's alright, you're perfectly sane. If you understood a single word of it… well, I'd go see your doctor as soon as possible.

n.n Please, please leave a review if you liked this Drabblething! They feed my soul and make me happy. Remember to make a guess as to why it's titled Back to Basics, if you think you know why:)

Until next time!


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